During a religious event in Hat Yai, Song Khla province, a student was reporting to me about the processes of her volunteer work for my Buddhism project here. Right after that, I asked her, “Where will you go for this Songkran holiday?”
The question must have taken her by surprise as it had nothing to do with the work she just reported and it was actually a personal matter. Then I told her, “You have to ask your family where they want to go for this Songkran holiday.”
That is what work-life balance is. As she had been working so hard, she might have forgotten to show love and understanding to her loved ones. Just one simple question, “Where are you going for the Songkran holiday?”, it could mean so much for the whole family. Being Dhamma practitioners does not mean we live in a separate world, far apart from them. We must know how to spend quality time with our families and enjoy every moment together during holidays, not only talking about Dhamma issues.
Such a question will show them our understanding in “Balance and Middle Path”. As meditators, we cannot just focus on our spiritual goal without taking care of our loved ones.
We have to know that there are different levels of Dhamma; basic, intermediate, and advance. Although we are practicing the advanced Dhamma level, we have to live a balanced life. If we only work but do not know how to relax, we are not walking the middle path.
When someone attended Techo Vipassana meditation course, his or her mind will be opened, that person will be determined to change from the usual way of life. That is called ‘Awakening from Madness’. The person will only want to do good deeds, do no more sinful acts, and adhere to the Five Precepts. After seven days in the course, he or she will go back home as a new person. Such a drastic change will be hard to accept and sometimes may make family members feel awkward.
Although that change is praiseworthy, it can be difficult for laypeople who have to live a worldly life. Therefore, a balanced life is a compromise for every person who is walking on spiritual path but still has to take care of the family.
Anyone who practices Dhamma but cannot maintain a balanced life will face family problems. The Buddha taught “The Middle Way” for all Buddhists to live their lives by avoiding the two extremes of practice; self-torture and indulgence in sensual pleasures. Laypeople should walk the middle way by following the Noble Eightfold Path of which the key principles are the precepts or morality (sila), meditation (samadhi) and wisdom (panna).
However, a Dhamma practitioner should not be confused by the words ‘perseverance’ and ‘self-torture’. Although practicing meditation needs lots of effort and perseverance, especially during a meditation course, it does not mean the practitioner is torturing himself. It’s actually the period for one to train his mind to get it purified. When returning home, the person will just have to adapt and live a balanced life.
The question, “Where would we go for this upcoming holiday?” may bring love and heartwarming moment back to our families. As Dhamma practitioners, we can enjoy our lives during any holiday time. With the golden rule in mind; the precepts or morality and mindfulness.
Most of all, this will show our loved ones the truth that Dhamma does not take anything from their lives, it in fact brings the most precious thing to every life.
