Vipassana Meditation Master
Acharavadee Wongsakon
“I hate today the most.”
On February 14, Valentine’s Day, this sentence is often heard from people without partners.
Where does love really begin? I don’t know. I only know that when love comes, it grows roots.
It is hard to pull out, hard to chase away. Some people die from heartbreak. Some people are willing to give their life because of love.
I have written many lines, but the tone is still not sweet.So, I will share a Dhamma story instead.
It is the real story of Gokila and Venerable Ananda. This story is surely sweet, but also sad.
It shows the long journey from worldly love to spiritual love. The heart of Gokila, who longed for love, was almost broken into pieces.
Gokila was a lowly servant woman. While Venerable Ananda was already a monk. They met on a road. Venerable Ananda asked her for drinking water from the jar she carried. With his gentle speech, kindness and compassion. Gokila fellin love immediately and followed him all the way to Jetavana Monastery.
Venerable Ananda asked her to return home, but she replied, “I will not go back. I love you. I have never met anyone as good as you.”
Venerable Ananda taught her to reflect wisely and said,“Love is dangerous. The Buddha said love causes suffering, sorrow, and pain. Do you like suffering?”
She replied, “I don’t like suffering at all. No one likes suffering. But I‘m happy when I see you, when I talk with you. I love you with all my heart.”
Venerable Ananda asked, “If you cannot see me or talk tome, will you suffer?”
She answered, “Yes, I will suffer very much.”
He asked again, “Does that mean love causes suffering?”
She replied, “No. Suffering comes from separation from what we love, not from love itself.”
He asked, “If there is no love, can there be separation from what is loved?”
She answered, “No, there cannot.
Although she lost to Venerable Ananda’s wisdom, Gokila could not remove her love.
She tried everything to stay close to him, even becoming a nun. But Venerable Ananda still remained firm in the Dhamma and didn’t respond to her love.
She pretended to be sick so that he would visit her.
But he knew the truth and taught her: “Now you have the Dhamma as your refuge. Hold firmly to it. Don’t rely on love or desire. Love is like a rotten stump — it collapses when wave shit it.”
Every word pierced her heart. She could only cry.
Venerable Ananda said further: “Love is naturally hot.When it arises in the wrong place, it burns even more. Love between you and me is love in the wrong condition. Let it go.Then you will find a higher, purer happiness.”
The Buddha knew of this and warned Venerable Ananda, who at that time reached only the first stage of Enlightenment: “The mind is restless and unstable, like a mad elephant. Use mindfulness as a hook to control it. The greatest person is one who can control oneself. One who conquers oneself is the greatest warrior.”
In the end, Bhikkhuni Gokila fought craving and desire by listening to the Dhamma and letting go of defilements step by step. She finally became an Arahant.
Worldly love is mixed with poison. It always carries suffering. Even fulfilled love brings pain when separation comes.
Worldly love fights to possess. Spiritual love fights to overcome craving.
A mind that can let go is a mind without suffering.
There was an elderly husband and wife who practiced meditation.
The husband progressed deeply and later became a monk. The wife practiced too but lacked patience.
She asked me how to gain patience. I pointed to the monk and said, “Do you see him?” “Yes.” “Do you want to follow him?”
She cried. I gently said, “Think of him as encouragement.You can reach the same goal.”
The next day, she returned smiling. Her effort and patience had greatly increased.
People can lack many things, but don’t lose encouragement. Without it, life cannot go on.
If love is understood and used wisely, it brings benefit. If you cannot yet let go of love, then increase kindness. Use loveas strength in both happiness and suffering.
Words can build or destroy. Love is the same.
Look at love as it truly is, not only its sweetness. Use love to see suffering. Wisdom from seeing suffering leads to true happiness.
If you can’t let go of love, be ready to see the truth. Because love always ends with loss and separation.
No matter whom you love today, may your love becomea source of wisdom. May you be a great warrior — one who conquers attachment, craving, and oneself.
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